So today I woke up again with a whole anxiety attack that has been happening way too much lately. I am so stressed and so busy for someone who only has a part time job. I think even though yesterday I was boasting about my independence this week since I didnt talk to my boyfriend, I may have been hurting my overall health in a way. No, I am not being dramatic. I think not having him there to talk to and smile for a little bit actual set me in such a individual independent state that I didnt share anything and held on my anxiety in while completing task after task. Yes, I got soo much done like way more than if I had him hear to talk to. I guess its like you have to have a real balance. I holding your independence down and still taking the time to smile with those you love. Like I said I am a very private person so there are not too many people that I feel comfortable with telling my too. Even more what I notice I tend to do is downplay my stress and even make a joke about in fear of seeming like a burden. I never want to be that annoying broke girl who has got to tell everybody her woes so much so that they make everything about them. For some reason I get stuck listening these people when I have real debt and real stresses in my life too. But my boyfriend who I am so greatful to have has really worked with me to be more honest about my feelings and sad to say he's the only person I feel like I can be really open with. But lets be honest I dont even tell him my 100% stress about things or even this blog for a matter of fact, I cant help but leave details of my woes out. I guess its because I grew up in a home where you kept things private like if there is a job I am really excited about my mom will say dont tell anyone. if there is something I am going through in so many words my mom would say dont tell anyone. I think she meant in the best way, you know not wanting any evil eye from anyone in a sense. But in many ways this mindset I have had made me feel isolated in so many ways. Honestly I think I became more open with things only four years ago when I started University and I think it was because I moved away from home and in a sense felt like noone could really judge me. I had a new slate, funny because I think only two people in my university career really knew me and that was me really opening up. One of them was my boyfriend. He really softened me up, now I find myself crying much quicker than I used to, I THINK THE ICE AROUND MY HEART IS MELTING AHHHH!! yeah but seriously....

I think my broke tip for day today would have to be ...Dont forget  to take the time to enjoy your life because life has enough for you to be stressed out about.