Hello World,

Today has been a pretty good day, I did pretty much everything I was supposed do today except work (same ole, same ole). Now I can watch tv, talk to my boyfriend and spend the rest of my day in peace. Blogging really helps get your thoughts out thats for sure and make you feel better so start one, send me the link and Ill follow. Also be sure to join me on twitter at broke_girl07. I mean incase you want some one liners of surviving the broke like. Anyhoot, I was just thinking about things that piss me but other people seem to be okay with it in the media, I mean are you okay with it?

1. I hate when I watch shows and people say stuff like "my Gays" and "my Gay best friend" or "my Mexicans" or anything thats really not yours because you dont even belong that group. It makes you sound dumb first of all, and I really dont understand why people arent offended by these comments and I see on t.v. all the time. And no one talks about it. How the hell can you have a gay best friend its either he's your best friend that happens to be gay or he isnt your best friend at all. So stop saying that stupid shit like it make sense. A whole group of people want ever the category cannot be your based on the fact that you may have a few that support so lets boycut and let celebrities and people who are too cool for school who say shit like that. And no I am not a gay or lesbian and I have no close gay friends, to me thats not the stinking point. The point is I hate people who feel entitled because of the way its cool to say things. Like "my Mexicans"? Unless your Mexican how bout you not say that. And this can be used for anything that your not. I remember one weekend visiting my father and my step mother decided to say oh I just have "my Mexicans" clean up the house. They are your employees not your Mexicans.  If your thinking wow they must be rich, their definitely not, but once people have a little something they feel entitled somehow to make stupid remarks which is supposedly supposed to make the sub group feel proud. P.S. i am not Mexican either.

2. I absolutely hate the way too cool for people are talking on t.v and I dont mean accent wise. Now I do think the first person I ever saw do it on t.v. was Kourtney Kardashian and now i feel like I can look a lot of shows and see people overdoing even her. I am talking about the slow, tired talking all the fucking time. If you have a speech impediment I understand obviously this is not for you. But I have even bumped into people in real life always well educated people who feel the need to talk like an idiot. Cuz thats what you sounds like, AN IDIOT! I was watching a show also on E the other day where this guy was talking and I had to change the channel because I got so fucking annoyed that he couldnt fucking finish his sentence already. "It was like i feel like you know as though I spent a lot of like money and I need it like totally back "@ 2 minutes per syllable. Stop it! Its not cool, it doesn't make you sound rich, it makes you sound dumb as fuck. I do not need to see your mouth twisted 17 millions times for you to finish a word.

3. People talking about how much the crazy their work out schedule is and their shopping addiction. I think people just like to gloat about these things to hopefully make other people feel like shit. If you work out alot great, I definitely believe in a healthy lifestyle but do we need to sit around every fucking day and talk about how much you work out? REALLY? Can you work on your confidence another way without being fucking annoying. Oh your shopping addiction, you are sooo unlucky to be plagued with this shopping addiction. Like you need to buy a new Micheal Kors bag like every week. Your life must be soo hard, with all the assistants and personal trainers its too much. SHUT ThE fuck up! We all know that if you keep this shit up your gonna be claiming bankruptcy soon. Like I never understood celebrities going bankrupt. Like you made 3 million 3 years ago. Say that was your last big movie. In this mean time you live in an L.A. appartment where your paying $2000 a month (that means in the last 3 years you have only spent 72,000 in rent). You pay so much taxes, they tax you 40%. (that means your still left with 1.8 mill - the 72,000 = about 1.7 mill. Your telling me that you couldn't eat and be doing smaller gigs and still not be fucking bankrupt. Its cuz your an idiot..thats why your fucking bankrupt if your a celebrity. You went and got a personal trainer that comes to your rediculous house that you are renting and take personal airplanes that you cant afford plus your total shopping addiction. Cry me a fucking a river and stop showing off about your life on t.v. Trust me I am not hating on your celebrity, i am hating on your showing off. Poor people do the same thing because they got a little change and wanna now follow you.

BROKE POEPLE STAY GROUNDED EVEN WHEN YOUR NOT BROKE ANYMORE>>> YOU NEVER WANNA GET BACK HERE>.

Dont Say things without thinking of the consequence
Dont start talking like an idiot
Dont get caught up showing off!

Have a great Day!

Hello world,

So I am pretty sure I got a mini anxiety attack this morning because I am soo stressed out. I work up like 4am in a panic. pure panic about my life. I think more than the ongoing bills get to me, the fact that I am not doing more actually gets to me more. What was the point of going through four years of University and all of this debt  when I cant even find a decent playing full-time job. Before I decided to go to University I worked for a big organization where somehow I was able to talk to a vp there and he's like "ill give you a chance". Does noone think I am worth a chance now? Like I understand the recession hit and a lot of jobs went out the window and I am pretty much graduated in the worst time but for hella sake why am I so fucking unlucky that someone doesnt even want to take a stinkin chance on me especially now that I am way more qualified for things now than I was then. Where the fuck has my luck gone? Like, ofcourse everything in life cannot be achieved just with luck alone but, LUCK is kind of important. I am sooo sick and tired of people downplaying some luck. I go somewhere talk to a really great person, and they offer me a job on the spot and I am finally able to prove myself. Its so sad because since I graduated I havent even been able to try and prove myself on the job. I know I will be fucking excellent I have so much to prove to others but most importantly myself. As I sit at home or at my part time job which admittedly sometimes turnes into a full time job I am loosing skills for things I actually want to do.
I think a big problem with me and maybe you face this too especially lets just say you studied something in the arts is that technically you can do so many jobs and others see it as nothing. which is sooo disrespectful. I think I lack focus, I dont really exactly know what I want to do with my life. The only thing I know is I wanna have a job that challenges me, allows me to grow as a person and within the company and makes me lots of money. But ofcourse, thats not good for the masses, they like to stick you in a box. I feel fuckin uncomfortable in a damn box but I am really considering just pushing my head into the turkey's butt...

Wish me good luck and positivity for the day cuz my heart cant handle it!

Hello world,

Today I got up exercised, washed my hair and did some laundry. I am really trying to loose some weight I only started gaining weight from like the past two years and when I say it came sudden and added up fast it really did. So now, I am trying to get the things under control that I really get get under control. Like my life seems like so many things out of control you know. Most people who live the broke like have other concerns other than money, it may be health, beauty, children, relationships whatever your other concerns you may have. The point of me saying all this is that you should change the things can change right now...dont wait until that becomes an uncontrollable mess also. It will make you feel like your days are spent doing something even if your completely unemployed.

Be the best parent you can be
Be at the healthiest weight you can be
Be the best friend you can be
Be the best lover you can be
Be the most intelligent person you can be

Whatever you can control right now control it! It will help you feel better about yourself even in terms of your broke now situation. Your goal is not to be broke forever, at least I can say that definitely is not my goal. Once you feel positive about something, it helps you feel more positive about other things.

I wish you a positive day!

So, today while I eat my cereal I think to myself now where am I fucking up. For me its definitely my lack of confidence and my laziness. Most people who know me would probably say broke girl definitely does not have a lack of confidence and for the most part I didnt. However, having your life slap you in the face when you look at your situation and what you wanted it to be is a confidence killer. I used to think I was great at interviews now, I am completely nervous and find myself leaving out critical information that could help me get jobs. I dont take on responsibilities that I know I can handle for fear of messing them up. I am probably the best person to create events and work within a very small budget and I have not gotten many roles that pretty much wanted this from me in a sense because I lacked the confidence. Having no's thrown at you is just a confidence killer and I know its supposed to make you work harder and prove others wrong...But I tell you once that initial zest/energy leaves you its hard to keep that mindset ( and you have to consciously keep your positivity up) and I try. You have bills to pay and you cant pay them, you wanna get out the house but you cant afford it, these things to say the least are demoralizing. And while I am a likable person I  cant seem to get a real job person and that shit hurts.  I fuck up with my laziness too I wont lie and I think at the core of my laziness there is a lack of confidence. I was thinking to write an email to my embassy in Germany as I want to use the youth mobility visa (a visa that allows you to work and travel in a country for a year and a half, you must be under 30 to take advantage) anyways I haven't gotten so as even inquiring about things because I have found every excuse including my favorite show to not write the damn email, and I think its partly because I cant stand to hear one more negative thing. 

To think about it us broke people all have atleast one big thing that seems to keep us broke. Mines would definitely be travelling, I love to travel, and the fact is I really cant afford to travel.

Material things keeping broke people broke;

Your House/Apartment
Your Car/ Motorbike
Your Shopping addiction (clothes, shoes etc.)
Your Travel
Your Food/ Going out for food
Your Business

The fact is most of us want to keep these things. They are things that for some reason or the other makes us feel happy and even accomplished. But the fact is, and trust me I feel you personally is we either gotta find a way to afford these things or let these things go. Since its the beginning of the year lets start a challenge.. If you haven't found a way to afford these things in the next 10 months then we need to let them go for the next 10 months after which we can evaluate if we can now afford them or not.

Good Luck folks!

And thanks for reading, I find it so awesome that people want to read what I gotta say. But the fact is life is not just one persons problems its all of our problems who are you know, alive.

I wish  you a great life!

Okay, so today I went to work again, you know gotta get those 12 hours in .lmao...( I laugh because its depressing) but today I been thinking most people who are broke like me have fucked up and have been fucking up on present things having us be in this situation. So today, I am gonna talk about the different kinds of broke people or maybe your one of these or a combination of several things... Anyways, today is not about anyone judging anyone but about you judging you.

The way Broke people have fucked up;

1. You pass up opportunities - this can either be because your a cocky ass bitch and think that your better than most of the opportunities that come your way or you can be a coward ass bitch who is scared of the unforseen challenges when facing  new opportunities. Either way you seem to always seem to fuck up what could have been.

2.Your too lazy - People generally like you for some reason but your too friggin lazy to see anything through. You can easily disregard something because it forces you to push a little harder than your favourite passtime ex. watching tv. And people notice your lazy so they never go out of their way for you in fear that you make them look bad because you have lazied out.

3. You lack confidence - You like people to stroke your ego and while people may like you in the beginning you push them away because you become so friggin annoying (and they justify taking advantage of you so beware). You dont last places that you work and you don't give yourself enough credit to take on responsibility even if your the most qualified person in the room.

4. You lack humility - You talk way too much, and while your popular in most social circles people secretly cant stand you. No one wishes you well, and no one wants to go out their way to help you because at some point you've shitted on all of them. You often worry why people always want you to help them but dont help you.

Anyways, now that you have found out where you are a fucked up person change that shit up. If you made a mistake and you keep on repeating it your a stupid ass- broke girl/guy and I am just about being broke not being stupid, yes I have standards too..lol..But foreel think about what I have said these traits may be contributing to why your not interviewing well or not able to keep a job or even get the job you want (whatever it is that keeps you broke)

Keep your headup!

So today I went to work, you know that part time job that a highschooler could do, yeah that one. Atleast, I get to work with my friend, so it really doesnt feel like work while I am there, she is still a student so this job makes perfect sense for her but for me its still friggin embarrassing. Anyhoot it was a hoot...Tip of day: never spend money to go out unless there is the potential of you making money and that is what I did today. It feels good to wake up early get out there and know that I am making money.

Still broke though..99 problems but a bitch aint one....

Broke girls don't have the head-space to be worrying themselves about romantic problems..I always know a girl aint really broke if she's talking about how she's soo stressed out at life because of man problems if your a lesbian the same statement applies you so don't get smart. You heffas must be living the good life if you have the head-space to think about shit like that. "I cant eat because he isnt talking to me, bitch I cant eat cuz I aint got no money to buy food!!" Chicks like that piss me off. I mean I am fortunate enough to have a great boyfriend that loves me and I dont have the headspace to get upset because he didnt call me today, like i already know what the boyfriend's voice sounds like and when its our time its our time when its me trying not to be  a broke ass chick anymore which is most 80 percent of my life its about me. Now I dont want it to seem like I have no life at all but its really tough when your figuring out meal plans and debt repayment plans and I actually love this man so much that I feel he deserves a woman who doesnt feel like a looser. He is a talented, ambitious man who loves and supports me and I want to be a talented woman who loves and supports him. I mean it sucks when I cant even say "babe this movie is on me". Wining and bitching about a man just isnt a broke girl's prerogative,,like foreel.com.org..lmao..
ANYWAYS the moral of the story is that real broke girls such as myself  worry about their bank accounts more than they worry about men..And men (partners) are annoyed with needy ass girls who instead of figuring out their own shit are all up in their shit, just sayin..
Anyhoot it's Saturday night and I am going to hit the town in broke girl style, go to a friends house get cheap drinks and chills the fuck out!

So it seems like people are really interested in what I have to say " Are you also a broke girl or guy needing assistance?" So am I so get to the friggin back of the line...

So today I decided to spend my day in a more positive way ofcourse is stayed home because I have no money to get around. Luckily, one of my friends give me her old bicycles before she moved cities so I can atleast go to the post office and bank if I really needed too. However, it is cold as fuck in this city and I am not that much of a cyclist to brisk the cold riding a bike (Am I the only one who thinks riding bikes are painful as hell on your ass if you do it for more than half an hour?)

Anyways, back to me day..

This morning I decided that even though I feel like a loser I shouldn't act like one so I woke up in the morning (not just before lunch like I usually do), brushed my teeth, exercised, took a bath and made my myself a healthy breakfast. Just because you feel defeated doesn't mean you need show the world that you are. Pluck your eyebrows, shave your armpits and look like someone will want to hire you. Letting yourself get out of shape and worn out will only make you loose your confidence even more. Trust me I know how easy it is to be unemployed and let yourself go (you go to bed late, wake up late, and accomplish nothing oh and most depressingly you feel like SHIT!).

I mean today I checked my emails and even with all of that being said I didn't get a job offer or an interview but I might read a book well atleast a couple pages before my eyes give out. Oh, did I mention I need glasses but cant even afford that shit? Broke people gotta budget their money more than others, the most the money I have in my bank account can do for me right now (and I mean my overdraft amount) is hopefully buy me a bus pass for February so at-least I will be able to go to free events with my friends, oh yeah and more interviews.

The broke life one that begins with alright grades to get into a well enough University where you study the stuff that you love and end up pretty much JOBLESS>>>

Broke Life Jan 24th 2013
Today I woke up ofcourse feeling like shit because I just finished going through this long ass process so that I could compete to do a whole lot of work and get paid shit..Need I say that after using my all and borrowing bus tokens that I hold dearly because transportation in a major city is hella expensive...THEY TOLD ME I DIDN'T GET THE JOB? I asked why and they had no response, because I dont matter I am just another broke new grad with a whole bunch of debt. Personally, I think it was because I lived to far to the locations they wanted me to work close. Rich people  (when I say rich I mean  middle class people), just because you guys can pick and choose which job you want because of comfort-ability I cant. I got bills to pay and a life to live, if I need to leave my house four hours in advance for a job that will take me somewhere career wise I will go. I cant afford to do an unpaid internship so obviously jumping some hoops was something I was willing to do. But of course they probably went with girl who is good friends with someone in the industry that just came from across the world where she was able to work completely volunteerly. What a great opportunity if one could afford it. Here are a few reasons a broke girl cannot afford that.

1. I need to pay for the flight
2. I need to live somewhere once I get there
3. I have no savings
4. I have on-going bills
5. I have no visa room
6. How the hell will I eat? oh you say well broke girl that stuff is provided once you go..and I say to you how the hell will I be able to eat when I get home if I am not working for 6 months?

So back to today, I feel unmotivated and a little defeated. I mean I can handle a lot I really can , I mean I have been handling a lot I really have. How does one in my position not have a nervous break down? I am still figuring out that shit.

Luckily, I am fortunate enough that I have obtained a degree which atleast gives me some bragging rights even though I live at home and work a part time job that a highschooler could be hired to do.

I'll see you back tomorrow when I am done punching the wall about today while I sit on my couch and look for new reality shows to watch ..FML